Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Monday, September 24, 2007

Finally, Ben Speaks!

It feels strange to finally sit down and begin contributing to the blog that Jordan and I began several months ago, which I insisted that she include me in. I've had some reticence about writing, whether it's due to my innate laziness or lack of material to get truly excited. I had this idea that my first post must be something special, and I had no interest in writing a history to this point.

What has finally prompted me to write is the book I just finished reading. It's the novel The Fountainhead which I finished this morning. There hasn't been a book I have thought more about or been as inspired by in a long time, outside of the scriptures. So many times when I talk to my girls there's something that rubs me the wrong way, and it's so difficult sometimes to identify what it is really about it. This book in so many ways has illuminated what bugs me of so many institutions in psychology, our culture, and the media. The most clear way I can phrase it is the gradual decline of personal integrity and accountability in our culture.

One of the most interesting part of the book for me is the themes that man should spend his time for himself, and not for anyone else. Now on the surface it seems a selfish point to make, which is how those who are truly selfish try to discredit and oppose those individuals whom attempt and complete the truly exceptional. It is so insidious how I have let the godless religion of communism, collectivism, and it's cousin liberal socialism into our lives. We are taught from the womb that we must help those around us, that we must help the poor by giving of our money. It's true that giving to others is a virtue, but when it's extorted from the giver it benefits no one. When taken from the man by force of the government and law the money I give it grudgingly, and because of it I never have the joy of true charity. The benefactor doesn't benefit from just receiving without work, because the cost of such help without compensatory work is one's own self-respect. It is both the blessing and curse of this world that man shall live by the sweat of his brow. As I have told my girls over and over that the cost of self esteem is achievement. The only way to truly feel good about one's self is to set and achieve goals, and they must be the goals you know you had to work to achieve. The evil part of this enforced giving is that we pat ourselves on the back for our progressiveness while truly hurting the people we profess to care about.

Which brings me to another point that I love about this book, which is that the person I must try to satisfy is myself. Again this comes across as a selfish viewpoint, but it really there are only two people that know when we have done our best, ourselves and our God. When I stand before God and give an accounting of my life, it will not be the taxes that I report, or the welfare programs that it funded. Rather I will stand and talk about what I have done with the talents and opportunities I have been given to help those around me personally. It won't matter the commitees that I was appointed to, the organizations that I belonged to. Ours is a PERSONAL God, and PERSONAL integrity and PERSONAL achievements are the only thing that shall stand as witnesses for or against me.

It is the move away from personal responsibility that scares me so much, the excuses and reasons that we throw around for our choices. I must learn to take accountability for my failings, and work to satisfy myself, and my God. So many times we try to take the me or I out of a situation. So many times I have heard "the house is tense" instead of "I'm mad or frustrated with some people" and we used instead of I. In fact I wrote the better part of this essay in the third person before I realized I was doing it, and rewrote it to be about me. So I am going to work hard on satisfying my own expectations, and working as hard as I know that I can.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

It's been a while!

I can't believe it has been since May since we posted anything!

Stephanie and Manuel were married last month in the Salt Lake temple. In August we also took the kids and the girls camping outside Yellowstone at Granite Creek. It was a great summer. Eva learned to walk, Nate started learning sign language . . . we'll start updating more from now on! I'll also start adding more pictures . . .